cranial jetsam

pickpocket, the film
xavier dolan's haircut
the gardener, song from the tallest man on earth



head thick with lines from other people's poems, feel transgressed upon by my own reading and other media. bursar's office is a nightmare, kafkaesque intrigue, hold the sauce. too much coffee, not enough sleep, everything is difficult, i am ready for all of it but stuttering under a weight of myself.

i say: you can just be and be okay.


if you are willing to work for it.



thin snow wisped down in the afternoon. helped hanna find a book. read long in the cafe with lapsung suchong tea and counted my sighs like sheep, giving them names instead of numbers, mostly: fading light, laundry to do, three, fear, fear, promise (unmade), bed (unmade), forgetting, impulse, thirteen, eight, wood, fever, three quarters, lungful.

must have dinner with laura. then drink with renée. allyson wants to chat when she and sunil are done at the ballet. the neighbors screamed and scuffled upstairs until after three. i slept dreamlessly. my suitcases are still full on the floor. acquired: one beautiful box.