cauchemar, reprise

isobel, my little night terror. we called her: round two. you know what we need? another hand to cover your face. here. not looking anymore, that's better. what you smell like, i said, how you feel. said it with my head on your shoulder, said it with your lip in my mouth.

didn't say. the blue room, with a long mirror and a wide window. and my skin like a blanket shaken out between the bed and the ceiling, billowing and caught. soft in the light that smacks in, light like a hand greedily on my thigh, my shoulder, my breast--everything at once. small lines of shadow between my legs, under my clavicles and hands. you cannot have all of it. red lips ashamed of the animal need, they hide small white teeth, the better with which to tear you apart, they part, they say one thing, they say: this, too, is a way to enter the flesh. how far above you, floater, drowned in the gently moving air, a tendril of hair to graze your cheek, to make you think that maybe it's not to late to get down from there. stay in the blue room, robin's egg blue. do not leave the egg, stay. the body behaves, but the head cracks against all containment, no. no no no no no nono. and even thick arms cannot fill the space between my chest and the window, the way i hang here, as the leaves of the wisteria shiver in the wind, the light splinters everything, the window groans, i am gone.

i didn't come to burn you. i came to crawl under your skin, and set myself on fire.



le temps ne s'arrete pour personne. le temps coule, et coule et ne cesse pas de bouger, de couler comme l'eau, de s'en va comme la sable fine entre tes doigts. la mémoire, elle restent. et elle fait son travail dévastateur. pas encore, disais je. ton corps n'est pas la mienne et je le laisserai, je te laisserai, un jour, peut être aujourd'hui, peut être demain. je vais me noyer dans ma propre tête, pleine d'eau. pleine de poissons. pleine de poisons. et encore, la mer qui crache les cadavres du passé sur ma peau. je suis ornée de morts, de tes yeux qui cerclent mon cou et qui serrent ma gorge. adoucit-toi, délie ces lacets.