that ain't the way to have fun, son

may the pond shiver all over at my roar. may every part reverberate.

in my dream, i bought a barbecue and rolled it back to the house. i bought a thick packet of fish and cooked the pink filets over red coals. i strung lights from the house to the tree in the yard and played checkers by myself as the night rolled in off the water and the fog sifted up through the wetlands. i was not lonely, i did not cry out.

washed up on the soft and endless shores of forever, vomiting hours and days. singing mute because there's not a word in my head. thought it was a good trick to burn the sheet music when you left, said, you can't read those anyway, you're going to wake up one morning and not be able to find the door. well, look at me now, baby i found it. all this water, all this sand, and i don't know if i've ever even sung a song in my whole life.

hey there carrion-eater, you've got blood in the corners of your mouth from gnawing on some long dead bones. you're gonna split your asshole if you keep eating shit like that. ha, ha, ha, haaaa! get your mouth out of there! those eyes rolling aren't searching delirium or folly, aren't pleased at all. no, those spiraling marbles are anguished brothers, they're trying to find one other, somebody's gotta carry somebody to safety and i will be goddamned if i can even stop myself anymore

the greek at the market gives me free bread for my smile, found an amazing copy of l'age de l'homme, the rain is broken glass, good lecture at the sorbonne this morning

carry a killing love inside me, a death sized love that crushes with the density of almost everything