cheers, darlin

o sleepless night. dawn comes on call, an oscillating hour, the sliding scale of the seasons. avoid, they cautioned, unqualified remarks. the day is thick and the sky, shrouded. some things do not change. we spoke, in my dream, about happiness. i asked, can we be happy anyway? did i wonder if we could transgress against conventional wisdom: this is a bad circumstance, you must be unhappy? did i need approval or confirmation to feel? was my happiness contingent on the other? in my dream, i was inside and then outside my body.

slow build, like these clouds and the impending winter. taking the long way home. too long. the hard way home, or the only way. which is to say: i only want it if i get it in this way. selecting the long term goals with a steady hand, honing in slowly. watch out! as the long view comes clear, the foreground blurs. no lens can see all things at once. the lazy clarinet hour, where you cannot move faster than the mournful tune. break on this. run aground on this.

watch the beauty queen at the racetrack, her charms a diversion from the incessant looping on which all our fortunes ride.