oakland, morning arrival at the hands of loved ones. if only for the company, this could be one of my favorite cities in the world. the kids playing on the dirty sidewalks, the big buildings, the wide roads that make no pretense at beauty or art. victorian falloffs from sf style, amazing architecture, homelessness, crunchy yuppie families with their unpackaged groceries and overprocessed children...
i'm on my best friend's bed. we just gabbed about broken hearts while i stirred lemon curd on the old white enameled stove. it is cooling now in a glass jar. there are plants in all the windows. antlers and nests-- she and her housemates are artists and the new guy apparently has quite a green thumb. the glass has made it decisions about undulation in the window frames, outside the neighborhood is robust, ungentrified, proud. the cheap tarpaper rooftops because it is temperate here, and phone and electric lines streak the sky.
buena vista social club on the radio. it is california warm, which is to say, hot. i found ridiculous woolen slacks for ten dollars in a consignment store near the house of my once best friend, once lover. i still have the key to his back door on my ring, surrounded by other keys to now defunct memory locations-- still extant, but for someone elses now.
the shithole you call home is no different from every other shithole. a paradise of familiarity. the old problems disguised by new intrigues and the ease of slipping back in to the place you forget having fought for.
i have your book! i knew there was something to return to you with fern. it will come back to you, if not by my hand in october, then by lendl's. failing all this, by post. i apologize, i hate it when people take off with my poetry and now i'm an offender! rats. how is fern? i miss my sweet androgynous little man.
as soon as the pace on my travels relents i'm hoping to send you something for the hrm website if you are looking for content...how sad that i'm missing you in toronto. poop. such is life. alright. i need to get my act together for a bike ride.
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